Machu Picchu About Nothing

Front page news here today is the mudslides in Peru which have trapped several Kiwis near Machu Picchu. It's probably all my fault for cursing the pan pipes, which I really hate.
A few weeks ago when we headed down to Mission Bay, there was a Peruvian bloke playing the pan pipes to an enthralled crowd of locals. Since he was the only other person there besides myself wearing trousers and not shorts, I decided to stop for a moment and listen out of courtesy.
Effortlessly blowing away in the mid afternoon sun, it dawned on me that the Peruvian was butchering "Bridge Over Troubled Water". I remember seeing one of these pan pipe bands back in Birkenhell in the early 1990s, and I think they were covering it too.
I remarked (more to myself than the long suffering spouse) that I didn't understand what it was about these guys that they have to travel the world hoping to ruin the lives of unsuspecting passers by murdering middle of the road tunes. Anyway, he might have heard me with his magical Incan ears and has retaliated by trapping some Kiwis in a village selling only beads and chullos.

I had to pass the Baptist Church on the way to the shops this morning and spotted 6 Asian (that’s Oriental in new money) people of various ages waving their arms around outside. Thinking they were limbering up for an early morning Soul Baptist session by the Reverend Cleophus James, I gave them no further concern and moved on. On the way back they had doubled in number and were doing facial stretching exercises. I heard tell some years ago that the bosses of some Japanese firms make the staff conduct warm up exercise before each shift. Maybe the Baptists legally insist on it before a dunking.

We've also had a bit of a spider uprising here with two incidents of White Tails penetrating the defences of three cats and the weta-murdering ant gang. I have been called upon both times to repel the invaders but feel that it is only a matter of time before one of us gets bitten. The White Tail is apparently venomous but the bite is not fatal, it just causes pain, nausea, vomiting, headaches and severe arachnophobia. The only thing worse in this neck of the woods is apparently zombie spiders, but as I just made them up, they need to be discounted as a realistic threat.
Assuming I can still see/type, I'll update you if and when I get bitten.