Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Red and Brown Dawn

It’s been raining here in Auckland. I mean really RAINING. The kind of rain that makes you think about constructing a large boat and selecting two of every animal before you realise that the whole thing is fundamentally flawed (why are the dolphins being spared?) and a load of bollocks.

Because of this, stormwater drains have taken a bit of a battering and the other morning we had what can only be described as an “incident”. Roots had penetrated the sewer pipe and for some reason the volume of water running into the stormwater drain had backed up into the trap and poured into the sewer line. This had the effect of blowing the already partially blocked sewer pipe at the nearest available release. This happened to be our front lawn and so we awoke to a lawn that had gone from green to brown overnight as human excrement flowed freely out of the blown cap. To the untrained eye it looked like a patch of Holbeck.
Fortunately it was sorted within 24 hours and the only cost of this tragedy has been an area of grass around the leak that has been killed off by either my post curry bowel movements or the cleaning chemicals they pump through the pipe as a public health measure.

28th May was Hug A Ginga day here in NZ, largely thanks to a promotion by the radio station The Edge and because the soulless ginner abominations were singled out, several counter arguments were brought to bear about what is essentially gingerism.
Personally I find red headed women attractive and Alyson Hannigan, Felicia Day, Christina Hendricks and Karen Gillan spring easily to mind. Ginner men, on the other hand, tend to be poor ambassadors for the cause.

Think of a ginger man and you automatically see the gurning face of Mick Hucknall, the unholy visage of Carrot Top and the frankly punchable Chris Evans. *Shudder*

The upshot was that highlighting their ginger hair, pale skin, freckles and cold, doll like eyes for even one day a year brings to light that they are picked on for being different. Therefore the other 364 days seems to be Slug A Ginga Day, and the pro-ginger activists wanted to change the way we see the copper coloured mutants once for all by not acknowledging their differences.
The public saw it otherwise, however and were happy to hug the ginners for one day a year while pelting them with rocks for the rest. That's people for you.