Jesus, Christchurch!

I've started to like Fridays. The Rock radio station has a Friday Fight Club where they put two people who are passionate about something (one for and one against) in heated discussion to thrash out their views. Recently, ACDC played here so not only did they have a NZ inspired spin on some Ackerdacker classics (Dirty Deeds (Done With Sheep) was one such song), but they also had two blokes excitedly discussing the pros and cons of the aged Aussie rockers.
The opening salvo was from the bloke who hates ACDC saying that for liking them, his opponent is obviously the kind of man who will sleep with his own cousin when the adults are out of the house. Things got steadily worse from there really.

I don't want you to get the idea from previous posts that New Zealand is a twee, crime free haven of Hobbits dancing through the meadows and front doors being left permanently ajar. Sadly, this isn't true, but the majority of reported crime seems to be in Christchurch. It's always in the news for something dodgy. Recently they have had a spate of people of rafts paddling away from Christchurch for a better quality of life in Antarctica.
One of the more amusing stories from Dodge City concerns a black Hummer owner who posted on a cyclist message board that he had a particular dislike of cyclists and looked forward to bouncing them off the bonnet of his penis extension. Unfortunately for him, he used the same username that he used on his TradeMe account so he was found in about thirty seconds by the cyclists who use the board, one of whom is a police officer. Once the anonymity was removed and his bravado quickly disappeared, the bellend quickly offered a grovelling apology. What a prize tool.

One of the locals was out on his pushbike again at the weekend. We first saw this guy when we moved in and it stuck in our minds because his bike doesn't have a front tire. It is just a metal rim with no grip whatsoever. I can't figure if he is poor or just likes to crush ants. If it is the latter, I might hire him to ride around the house getting the stragglers that the Raid doesn’t kill.

Finally, I have received a bit of constructive feedback after having a dig at the Welsh in one of my previous posts. I would like to say that I genuinely had no idea that I would offend any Welsh person. This is mainly as I didn't expect them to read it as computers and the electricity to power are seen as sorcery and are generally banned under the primitive leek worshipping regime...